Let’s be honest, the President of these United States didn’t ask for my help in writing his State of the Union speech, delivered earlier tonight. But if he did, here is what I would have told him to say:

“Good Evening my fellow Americans and those of you in this chamber who have been elected to represent them.

The State of the Union is perilous tonight. We spend more time and money here in Washington doing nothing but talking about what should be done–rather than doing what should be done. We all put party and keeping power ahead of keeping our promises to the American people.

Well that ends right here, right now. Tonight.

Because I’m going to spend the rest of what might be my one term in office doing exactly what I told the American people in 2008 I would do if I got here. I’m going to work every hour of every day I have left to change things.

I’m going to work to get you to adopt a new tax code. Its simple, really–everybody pays something. If you make a little money, you’ll pay a little. if you make a lot, you’ll pay more. As little as 2 or 3 percent to as much as 20 percent, max. No corporate loopholes. No tax breaks only for the wealthy. The only tax break, if you create a new job–you will pay less. The more new jobs, the less you’ll pay. Otherwise everybody who makes a dollar, is in. Those who don’t make a dollar, will not have to pay until they do make a dollar. If they don’t make a dollar for three years–and they make a dollar–will stop getting to pay nothing.

Any company who proves they can do something that the government does, but better and cheaper–the US of A will hire your company to do it. We will shrink the size of government by at least 10% this year, including the size of every congressional members staff. Speaking of members of congress, we will scrap the plan you folks like to make fun of by calling it “Obamacare”. We will replace that with the following new health care plan–every American will be able to buy into the exact same health care system that each of you enjoy. With all the same choices and all the same options. Those who can’t afford the premiums, will get in for free. Those who can afford to pay, will pay a reasonable amount.

We’re also going to cut foreign aid. Fifty percent across the board. We’re not going to abandon anyone, but they will have to live with less from us. And over the next 5 to 10 years, we’re going to ratchet it down to zero, unless those countries taking our aid, buy from us. Our food, our products, our whatever. You want our aid, you got it–but you spend money with us too.

Finally, we’re going to shrink the size of the military serving overseas. We spend a lot of money on the defense department budget, and we are going to cut back on being the only people as the world’s beat cops. Those fine young men and women we are losing on foreign soli? They are coming home. But we are going to keep them in uniform–because we are going to turn any military base we don’t need into a new prison, and we are going to put criminals in jail. We’re not going to turn them loose because our prisons are overcrowded. You commit a crime, you go to jail. You commit a crime with a gun, you go to jail with no chance of parole. You do all the time you are sentenced to. And I will build enough cells to hold every single criminal who needs to go to prison, and hire more guards to keep them there.

There’s more, but that is enough to get started. There will be bills on your desks tomorrow to do each of these things. I’m going to spend then next 10 months trying to get those bills passed with as little crap thrown in to push pork projects to your home districts and state. Yeah, we’re gonna get rid of that too.

Vote for them or against them, I don’t care. But if you stand in the way of getting these initiatives up and running, I will also spend the next 10 months coming to every district you represent and reminding the voters that I have been pushing for change they can believe in. And you have been standing in the way.

And from now on, I am not going to forget to do my job, because I am too busy trying to keep my job.

So to quote that great thinker of our age, Mr. Ted Turner…it’s time for each of you to either “Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way.”

Thanks for your time, now let’s get to work. The people are paying us to do some, and they deserve to get their money’s worth for today…starting right now.

Thank you, God Bless You and God Bless the United States of America.”