Don’t get the wrong idea here, I’m a fan of Jon Bon Jovi and his music.

But I’m pretty sure he was wrong in that song “Who says you can’t go home?”

Because after a quick trip back to where I used to live–and did for the majority of the past 28 years in three separate stints–I ‘ll say it. Sometimes you can’t go home.

I say this with no joy in the discovery. And certainly with no insult meant to my friends and family.

So why am I dissing the premise that Mr. Bon Jovi’s song puts forth?

Well mainly because it’s not home if you don’t live there anymore. And it feels a little weird.

You may see the faces of the people you miss from when you were there. But it is now where they live. Not you. And you pretty much know it.

Plus, when you lived there, you had that place that was your own. Now if you are lucky, you can hang out with your friends or family at their place. They will make you feel as welcome as they possibly can, and it will be great to visit.

But that’s just it. You are a visitor.

Visiting means you are there for a bit. Then you have to go.

In fact you’ll spend much of the time during the visit talking about when you have to go. How long until you have to go. Even after you go, will you be able to come back soon for another visit?

Because you don’t have a place of your own there. Your place, your home–is somewhere else.

And that’s OK. Sometimes things have to change, whether we want them to or not.

So Jon, I understand the wanting to go back home. But you really can’t. Even if they call you one of their own.

When you’re gone, things change. Sometimes a little, sometimes a whole lot.

It’s important to recognize it. And accept it.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to visit as often as you can. Those friends and family? They still are the best people you are likely to ever know.

And the good news? They already know you, and still want to see you.

As Jon said, “It’s alright…It’s alright…It’s alright…It’s alright…It’s alright.” (Yes, it was five times in the song. I had to check.)